I want to stick my p in your. b.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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