Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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