Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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