By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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