I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize
