I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
