How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The struggles of a small town man whore
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
