Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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