Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
