He disabled his match.com account in front of me
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
