You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
