Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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