Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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