she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
