i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
