VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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