I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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