I hate all girls vehemently.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
