So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
