The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
