If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
