Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize