Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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