There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
