I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
