Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
