just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
