i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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