I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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