i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
