hell yes lets make some ravioli
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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