You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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