At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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