Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
