just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
