Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
