I accidentally had phone sex last night
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Green mimosas i think yes
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize