Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
