Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
