I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
