what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize