i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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