Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
