Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Randomize
