The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Someone signed my nipple.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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