Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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