i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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