one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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