Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Send help, water and tortillas.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
