At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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