ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
