Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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