He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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