Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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