jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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