take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
