i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
