Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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