used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
