32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
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Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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